


Never be forgotten

by Ischa



Series: How Starfisch got her name and other stories [2]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Sexual Content, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-04
Updated: 2012-05-04
Packaged: 2017-11-04 20:24:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/397868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ischa/pseuds/Ischa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank is eighteen, on tour with his band and trying to forget Gerard.</p>
<p>
  <i>After, after the one time they had sex, Gerard fled the freaking town and didn't call. Frank didn't call either, because what could he have even had said? Gerard had been drunk, Lindsey had been pushy and Frank had been in love since fucking forever with Gerard, so one thing led to another and- sometimes he can still feel Gerard's breath on his skin. Phantom pain. Can hear Gerard's “You look beautiful.” like an echo in his head. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never be forgotten

**Author's Note:**

  * For [akamine_chan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/akamine_chan/gifts).



**Pairing:** Gerard/Lindsey/Frank  
 **Rating:** R  
 **Summary:** Frank is eighteen, on tour with his band and trying to forget Gerard.  
 _After, after the one time they had sex, Gerard fled the freaking town and didn't call. Frank didn't call either, because what could he have even had said? Gerard had been drunk, Lindsey had been pushy and Frank had been in love since fucking forever with Gerard, so one thing led to another and- sometimes he can still feel Gerard's breath on his skin. Phantom pain. Can hear Gerard's “You look beautiful.” like an echo in his head._  
 **Warning(s):** threesome, sex, angst  
 **Author’s Notes:** Set in the [Songs about the Ways-verse](http://nur-luegen.livejournal.com/41482.html). Takes place five years pre Songs about the Ways, roughly two years after Big blind bet. You don't need to read/have read Songs about the Ways to understand this. Written for akamine_chan.  
 **Word Count:** 2.457  
 **Beta:** asm_z  
 **Disclaimer:** Don’t know, don’t own, not real

 

~1~  
Frank lights a cigarette and inhales deeply once before he takes out his phone. Three missed calls from Mikey. Must be something important: he would have texted otherwise. He decides to finish his smoke first before he finds out about whatever apocalypse is happening back home.  
The night is freaking cold and he forgot his jacket. He really needs to take care of shit like that now that he is on the road and doesn't have anyone (his mom) to remind him of it. He doesn't want to catch a cold and slow shit down for the band.

“So, zombies?” Frank asks.

“Not yet,” Mikey answers.

“You called three times, Mikey,” Frank says.

“Gee is going to see the band.”

Great, Frank thinks. Mikey doesn't have to spell it out for him. With the band, he means Frank's band. He has been able to avoid Gerard, and Lindsey for that matter too, for nearly two years. It wasn't easy, but being busy with the band helped a freaking lot. “How did he even make time for that?” Frank wonders. Gee must be swamped with work now that his art is in and hip and all that jazz.

“He's Gerard,” Mikey says.

Frank can hear the shrug in his voice. “He-” Frank bites down on that thing that always wants out when they're talking about Mikey's brother who took Franks virginity and didn't even know, or care. It does make for a good story, he guesses. Not many people can say their first time was a freaking threesome. He takes a deep drag of his cigarette and thinks, or tries not to get buried in memories.

“You ever going to tell me what happened?” Mikey asks.

“No,” Frank answers. His voice is hard. He doesn't ever want Mikey to know what a fucked up idiot Gerard was back then. Not that Mikey doesn't know. What a fucked up idiot Frank was. Still is maybe.

“He's not going to pass that by, Frank. He had this look in his eyes. That one that he has during D&D and when he's thinking about drawing on wood and how to make paint from roses and shit.”

“Yeah, I know that one.” Frank flips his butt onto the pavement and stares at the sky. It's dark and cold.

“He'll be in Chicago when you guys play there. Just so you know.”

“He bringing her?”

Mikey sighs. “Yeah, Frank. He's bringing Lindsey too. They are-”

“I know.”

“I know you're not a kid anymore, but you were still born years too late,” Mikey says and then softer: “I'm sorry.”

Frank wants to laugh or cry or scream and throw things. “Thanks for the heads up, Mikey.”

“Whatever,” Mikey answers and Frank waits for him to hang up first.

~+~  
Now Frank's night is over. He is so not in the fucking mood to do anything related to human beings. He wants to crawl into a bed, crappy as it is, get out Mister Cuddles and sleep.  
His band can go and fuck itself. He doesn't care. He's only playing guitar anyway. Girls like drummers and singers.

~+~  
He wonders on the way to Chicago how Gerard looks and how he'll be. After, after the one time they had sex, Gerard fled the freaking town and didn't call. Frank didn't call either, because what could he have even had said? Gerard had been drunk, Lindsey had been pushy and Frank had been in love since fucking forever with Gerard, so one thing led to another and- sometimes he can still feel Gerard's breath on his skin. Phantom pain. Can hear Gerard's “You look beautiful.” like an echo in his head.  
Sometimes he thinks that he's looking for a trait of Gerard in other people.  
A part of him is excited, a part of him is freaking terrified and a big part of him is angry for no reason and all the fucking reasons in the universe.  
That reunion is going to be awesome.

 

~2~  
Frank doesn't look for Gerard's face in the crowd. He doesn't want to see Gerard now, he probably wouldn't either, as Gerard likes to hang out in the shady, dark corners, making out with Lindsey. His girlfriend. Frank isn't going to think about it. He's going to play and play damn great. Pansy is going to give her best too. Shine like the freaking beauty she is.  
Frank takes a deep breath and launches into the first song. Eyes on his singer and the other guys in his band, never straying to the crowd.

~+~  
He knows that he can't avoid Gerard for ever and ever, until the world burns and hordes of the undead are trying to kill the rest of the good, bad and ugly. He could try. It’s worked pretty well so far, but he guesses it only worked so well because Gerard was trying his damn hardest too to stay away from Frank.  
Gerard waves; all excited hands and arms and fucking fingers (and Frank has a flash of those fingers inside his ass and-) and Frank rolls his eyes. He can't help himself. He missed Gerard. He always missed Gerard when he was away to do art and things and stuff. Hugging trees and protesting and being all Gerard. Gerard was such a freaking big part of him that it's a wonder he made it through two years without talking to Gerard. But he did make it, he thinks. It was hard at first, but it's always hard to lose something important and then try to remodel your life around a thing that isn't there anymore. Frank did it and he isn't sixteen anymore. He has a band and they are good and he had his fair share of girlfriends and guys he did stuff with. He got his heart broken by people who weren't Gerard and it didn't hurt less.

“Frankie,” Gerard says with a big grin.

Frank nearly snaps at him. “Don't call me that. Only my mom calls me that anymore,” he says instead.  
Gerard nods, but his grin dims a whole fucking lot. Frank bounces a bit in place and doesn't know what to say, which is weird, because it never used to be that way before. “Isn't Lindsey with you?” he asks eventually, because he can't see her.

“No, she's staying at the hotel. She said she's having a headache from hell,” Gerard answers. Frank can hear the worry, tender, in his voice. This is what he always wanted for himself. All of it that Lindsey has, that bit that she shared with him only makes things worse and not better.  
But still, Gerard is here. So he obviously cares enough to try and make things work for them again.

“I need something to drink,” Frank says and it's the freaking truth.

~+~  
They end up outside on a park bench, drinking beer Frank isn't old enough to drink and talking about everything and nothing, catching each other up on their lives. For two years apart there's surprisingly little of it, he thinks.

“It's because we have Mikey,” Gerard says.  
Frank nods, it’s true enough. Mikey is their cord between two tin cans. And it doesn't matter to Mikey that the cord has been cut at some point. Frank really loves Mikey for being Mikey.

“We're playing another show tomorrow night,” Frank says. He's sure Gerard knows that, but it's not about information, it's an invitation. “You should bring Lindsey. If she's up for it,” he adds and he thinks he really means it too.  
It's not so hard anymore to think that she could be the one for him. After all two years and then some speak for themselves.

 

~3~  
Somehow, and he really doesn't know how it happened, maybe because the thing between them, that easy friendship is still there, he ends up in their hotel-room. It's a bit nicer than the one he and the band are staying in.  
Frank falls face-down on the soft blanket and takes a deep breath. It smells like something sweet-spicy that is Lindsey's perfume and Gerard. He knows how Gerard smells. He thinks he'll always know how Gerard smells.

“I could find you blind,” Frank says, his words muffled, grinning.

“Yeah?”

“By smell alone,” Frank adds. He would nod, but he's lying down.

“I'm not sure it's a compliment,” Gerard says frowning. He's playing with a cigarette between his fingers and Frank can't look away. It's so freaking familiar and yet not. Because there is this one night where he felt those fingers on his skin, his flesh; stroking and gripping and caressing. He wonders if Lindsey has that problem sometimes too or if it's something unique to him.

“It's not,” Lindsey says holding a cup of coffee. Gerard makes noises at her and grabby hands and she rolls her eyes at him, smiling, but hands over the cup. She looks different too. Healthier, better. It isn't only Gerard who's trying.  
The thing is, Frank thinks, that Lindsey isn't trying anymore. Mikey said that she is done with all the stupid shit. Not that Frank wanted to know that, but Mikey even tells you shit that you don't want to know, but need to hear. She didn't drink tonight either.

“You love my funky, manly smell, don't even pretend,” Gerard says.

“I like the fresh clean scent of after shower you a lot too,” she answers.  
Frank's mind isn't going there. Not at all.

~+~  
Frank wakes up slowly, he turns around and presses closer to the warmth like he used to since he and Mikey became friends and he and Gerard became friends too, because there was no way it wouldn't happen.

“Frankie,” Gerard whispers and there is longing in the word and something else: a million questions and all Frank wants to do is to push even closer, to get his fingers into Gerard's hair and his lips on Gerard's and Gerard's hands on his skin again.

“You don't get to call me that anymore,” he says instead, quietly.

“I want to again,” Gerard answers and Frank thinks it sounds kind of vague.

“Are you drunk?” Frank blurs out, he couldn't be. He should be more sober after they slept. “Lindsey is sleeping just on the other side.”

“I know,” Gerard says, biting his lip. “I was thinking about you. Since that night, I’ve been thinking about you, am thinking about you. I-”

Frank sits up. “No,” he says, because he put this behind him. He's not doing it again.

“Lindsey's been thinking about it too.”  
It, Frank thinks.

“You,” Lindsey says softly from the other side of Gerard. Frank gives Gerard a look. The bastard did know for sure she was awake the whole time. “I've been thinking about you.”

“About a stupid kid, hmm?” he says, it sounds a bit too hard, a bit too bitter.

“Don't do that, Frank,” Gerard throws in, he's stroking a finger over Frank's arm and Frank really needs to get out of this bed and hotel room and city.  
But it's not going to happen. One look at Gerard's face and the finger on his skin and he knows he's going to do it again. Mistake or not.  
All or nothing.  
What doesn't kill you and all that jazz.

“You,” Frank says and it's there at the tip of his tongue. You were my first, but he doesn't say it in the end. It doesn't mean anything now. He just lets this 'you' hang between them that could mean Gerard, or Lindsey or the both of them, could mean he has no words to express this, could mean nothing at all.

~+~  
He isn't the inexperienced virgin anymore, but everything with Gerard and Lindsey is like learning something new. This time no one is drunk and there is sun breaking through the blinds. Frank can see Gerard's face clearly in the dim light.  
Lindsey is whispering things in Gerard's ear, but Frank doesn't feel jealous.  
In that moment when he pushes inside Gerard and Lindsey is watching them, kissing Frank's knuckles like she can't help herself, like she was thinking about it too for all these years, he can see a future that isn't miserable. Can see all the possibilities this has to offer if they do it right. And then that fraction of a moment is gone and all he can feel is Gerard: his fingers digging into Frank's sides, his legs, his breath and his dick rubbing against Frank's belly. He could stay like this forever he thinks and then Gerard makes a noise and Frank's hips move: harder, faster and Gerard buries his head against Frank's skin to muffle the words that want to spill out.

~+~  
“Give me five minutes and I'll be ready to go,” he says, looking at her. Her legs are spread open and he can smell her and remembers how she felt – maybe it's true you never forget your first one.

“Ah, to be young again,” Gerard says, kissing Lindsey's shoulder. She smiles and shudders like this little contact is enough to make her shiver and come undone, and what does Frank know? Maybe it is. He rolls over, grabbing her by the hips and looking into her face, one knee pressing softly against her. He wonders if it's okay to fuck her the same way he fucked Gerard, her boyfriend. She nods, like she knows what he's thinking about and he wants to kiss her.  
One day, he thinks, one day I'm going to drop to my knees for you.

She whispers “I'm sorry,” after and he kisses her for the first time like he means something by it.

~+~  
“Don't be a stranger,” Lindsey says from the bed.  
He nods, looking for his sock. Strange how one always seems to disappear.

“We mean it,” Gerard says and the 'we' makes Frank look up and at them, curled up in the messy bed. He wishes he could curl up with them and wake up beside Gerard every freaking day. Maybe for the rest of their lives.

“You know where to find me on every given day of a shitty tour,” Frank answers.  
Gerard nods like he's going to be there, every single night for the rest of the tour and like Lindsey will be beside him. And who the heck knows, maybe they will.

~end~  



End file.
